LIkeness

Likeness

A 100 word story

by Jeff Hite

“Well sure it looks like her, that is the point of a portrait isn’t it?”
“I don’t know Jim, I just don’t know that this is a good idea.”
“To be honest Tom I don’t care if you think it is a good Idea or not. What I want to know is if it is a good likeness of her.”
“It is a good likeness alright, too good if you ask me. I mean really did you have to draw all the fangs?”
“Of course I did… Wait did her eyes just twitch? I think she is looking at you.”

The Turkey

The Turkey

A 100 word story

By Jeff Hite

“The Turkey is dead.”
“Yes it is.”
“That is the way we like it best.”
“Yes, it is.”
“We don’t like it alive.”
“No we don’t”
“The Turkey is dead because it’s head is cut off.”
“That is right.”
“The skin does not have any feathers.”
“No they were taken off.”
“We don’t like it with feathers.”
“No they are hard to chew.”
“I don’t like chewing feathers.”
“I hope not.”
“The turkey is dead, with no feathers and it’s head is cut off.”
“Yes. Look can we talk about this after dinner?”
“Ok. Dad, is the bacon dead too?”

Thanks Laurence

A Hole in the Ground

A Hole in the Ground

A 100 word story

By Jeff Hite

“Tim you said this place was a hole in the wall, I didn’t really think you were serious. This place is a real hole.”
“Yeah, it is a bit, but man they serve the best fires here.”
“Excuse me miss.” A man in a apron said standing next to their table.
“Yes?”
“Well you said that this place was a hole in the wall. I am the owner and I take exception to that.”
“I didn’t mean insult you, I…”
“Since it is actually below ground, it is a hole in the ground. I would appreciate you getting it right.”

Inspired by Mr. Simon

Five Rivers to Publish A Method To the Madness: A Guide to the Super Evil

Five Rivers to Publish A Method To the Madness: A Guide to the Super Evil

Villains rejoice! Co-editors, Michell Plested and Jeffrey Hite have reached an agreement with Five Rivers (www.5rivers.org) to publish the anthology, A Method To the Madness: A Guide to the Super Evil.

A Method To the Madness: A Guide to the Super Evil will be a tongue-in-cheek anthology of short essays aimed to guide the up-and-coming mad scientist to success in a career of supervillainry.

A Method To the Madness: A Guide to the Super Evil is a for-love anthology, accepting submissions until May 31, 2012. The anthology is scheduled for release Spring 2013 in both print and digital formats, and will be available globally through online booksellers.

Guidelines for the anthology can be found at: http://madscientistanthology.wordpress.com/.

Update

I just wanted to give you an update and let you know that I have not dropped off the face of the earth. I have been a bit busy, but I am getting back into the swing of things and the stories will come back pretty soon here. Like I hope to have a few 100 word stories again this week. In the mean time, I do have an announcement. Late last week, I released a short story on SmashwWords. The story is called Cargo and it is in my Mars Colony universe. You can get a copy of it here for only $.99.

Thank you for sticking with us here, and thanks for your support.

Read Meat

Read Meat
By Jeff Hite

“Gary,” his doctor began, “you have to cut out some things from your diet. Not more kindles not more ipads or iphones, in general no more read meat.”
“You mean, red meat right doc?”
“No Gary, if I had meant red meat, I would have said red meat, I mean no more read meat. You’ve been consuming entirely too much technology of late.”
“But I can’t get over the stuff I love it.”
“Well you have got to stop.”
“But what harm is it doing? I mean isn’t tech good?”
“Yes, but too much and you can’t pay my bill.”

No Squid Left behind

No Squid Left Behind
By Jeff Hite

Water world was a terrible movie. I don’t think anyone will argue that. But I think I have thought of a way that it could be a lot better. What if you introduced giant sea creatures to it. I mean if the entire planet was covered with water, there would be more oceans for them to grow in. Little things could get bigger and big things could be gianormous. Can you imagine a ten foot Maryland blue crab? And what about the epic battles between the Super blue whale and and ultimate giant squid. Can you imagine the ticket prices?

Hansel and Regrettel

Hansel and Regrettel
By Jeff Hite

“I really think we should go back now.” Grettel said to her brother.
“But if we go back now, you know mother is just going to throw us out again.”
“I really wish we had not broken the milk jar.”
“Well if you hadn’t started swinging the broom around.”
“I know I know.”
“Do you think we should have let the geese out when we left? I mean that did seem like a little bit over over kill, and besides they caused us to be lost.”
“Look quit complaining Regrettel, and help me find a way out of this cook pot.”

Exoplanet

Exoplanet
By Jeff Hite

“The Idea of exoplanets is so cool don’t you think?”
“I don’t know Betty, I mean it is neat that there are other planets out there, but what good are they going to do us?”
“Come on Jed use your imagination. What kind of life could be out there?”
“I’m using my imagination, and I can see some pretty strange life right here. I mean have you ever been to L.A. or what about West Mineral Kansas, those folks are weird with that giant digging machine.”
“It is called Big Brutus and I think it is kind of cool.”

Big Brutus is a real attraction in West Mineral Kansas, I have been there more times than I care to admit.

http://www.bigbrutus.org/index.html

The Fix

The Fix
By Jeff Hite

John looked at his watch.
“20 minutes.” He could not believe that it had only been 20 minutes. “What is this stuff, that it only lasts 20 minutes.”
He looked at the packaging.
“Quick fix, for when you just can’t wait for the real stuff. Warning this product is not meant for long term use and may only resolve your problems for a short amount of time.”
He could hear the announcer’s voice in his head as he read it. He sighed, “Well I guess you get what you pay for.” He picked up the other pill and took it.